God Sent Me Purple Flowers...

This post is from my friend Malina, whom I go to church with. When I first thought about the "Realizing His Love For You" topic for my 31 series, I immediately thought about Malina's story. She had shared it a couple different times at our small group & also at a woman's book study we had done. It is the perfect example of coming to terms with & realizing the Love of our God...


Growing up I really struggled with my self-image.  I always felt like I wasn’t quite good enough, like I didn’t measure up.  If I had just done more, or something different, or been better  - then I would be good enough.  It was as if someone was always in my head saying, “You did good, but if you had done this, then it would have been perfect.” Being a perfectionist didn’t help.  I could always find fault in everything I did, and unfortunately, I transferred this distorted view to how I thought God saw me.  I figured He too thought that I came up a little short.  Then something happened that forever changed me.

I got seriously sick one night. Not your normal vomiting and nausea, but violently ill.  The next morning a woman that I barely knew called.  She said I had been on her mind and she had been praying for me and was wondering if everything was alright.  I told her I had been horribly sick and she stated that she would continue to pray.  Later that morning she called back to ask if she could bring some soup.  When she dropped it off, she began to tell my husband that she felt that God had been speaking to her about me and had given her a scripture for me.  She asked if she could talk to me, but my husband told her I was finally asleep and didn’t want to wake me.

So she gave him the scripture for me and handed him some purple flowers.  She said she had asked God what she could do so that I would know all of this was from Him and not just her.  She felt like He had said to bring me purple flowers.

(Source Unknown)
 
At this point my husband realized that I needed to hear this first hand and woke me.  You see, I love flowers and purple is my favorite color.  There is no way this lady could have known that.  I don’t even think my own dad knew what my favorite color was at the time, but you see, God did.  He loves me so much that He knows all about me and what would speak to me.  He knows the big things, and the small things.  He sent me soup and flowers, purple flowers, when I was so very sick, and He did it through a woman who didn’t even know me.  You see, she had met me at a small group from my church a couple of times and to know who I was had to look me up in the church directory – she didn’t even know my name, much less that I loved flowers or that my favorite color was purple.  But God did.  God cares about all the things that are special to us and knows those details of our life – He is a personal God – an intimate God who knows and cares about us.

This one small act began to change my whole perception of who I was.  As I began to realize the depth of God’s love, I began to love me (or at least like me) and quit playing the “what if I had only” game.  I began to think of it not as self-esteem, but God-esteem.  I began to view my worth through God’s eyes, not my own.  It changed my life.  For the first time EVER, I was content with who God had made me to be, and could quit questioning my “everything”.  For the first time ever I felt “good enough”.

And what I want to say to you is that God loves you this much too!  He knows you.  He knows your thoughts, your wants, your needs, your hurts….. and He not only wants to know you, but He wants for you to know Him, to feel His love for you, to know His love.

Ephesians 3, verses 17-19 say it best – “Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him.  Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.  And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is.  May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully."
 

That day, so many years ago, I began to understand the love of God.